一.叙事写作指南-理论文章
来源教育界速记英语名词讲坛。
单位:湖北麻城市教育局教科院副院长。
记叙文是记录人的叙事的文章。主要用于解释事件的时间、背景和原因、过程和结果,即我们常说的五个“w”(what、who、when、where、why)和“h”(how)。记叙文的重点在于“叙述”和“描写”。因此,好的记叙文必须是叙述条理清晰、描写生动、形象鲜明的。近年来,在高考书面表达中,叙述文出也占一定比例,命题形式主要是大纲式和图画式。2011年北京圈、福建圈、广东圈等。以下是英语记叙文的特点和写好记叙文的基本要领。
第一,记录记叙文的特点。
1.叙述的人称
一般来说,英语的记叙文总是从第一人或第三人的角度叙述。第一名说的是叙述者的亲眼看到、亲耳听到、亲身经历。(伯纳德肖,SOLART)其优点是,故事的情节可以通过“我”传达给读者。就是让阅读感真实,亲切,可靠。(威廉莎士比亚,《哈姆雷特》)例如:
The other day,I was driving along the street . suddenly,A car lost its control and ran directly towards me fast . I was so frightened that I quiche
用第三人称叙述的优点是,叙述者不受“我”活动范围内的人和事物的限制,通过作者和读者以外的第三方,将故事中的情节直接展现在读者面前。文章客观效果强。例如:
little Tom was going to school with an umbrella,for it was raining hard.on the way,He saw an old woman walking in the rain with nothing to cover
2.动词的时态
记叙文中,记忆和叙述都离不开动词。动词出现率最高,变化最丰富。记叙文中最常用的是动词的过去,这是英语记叙文区别于汉语记叙文的关键。英语作文的美在于这个动词时态的变化。正是这一点包含了生动的动态感、鲜明的层次感和立体感。
3.叙述的顺序
叙述一件事要有一定的顺序。顺序、历书、插入、补充等,要让读者清楚事情的来龙去脉。叙述是最容易操作的,更容易向读者明确提供工作空间和时间的说明和构图。但是这种方法也可以很容易地记住句子、流量账户,使人们容易无精打采地阅读。反过来叙述、插入、补充叙述等叙述方法有效地改善了文章结构的效果,使所叙述的事情跌宕起伏,使读者的思维有更大的跳跃和落差,从而在文章牵引下取得胜利。(威廉莎士比亚,温斯顿,读书) (读书,读书,读书,读书)但是,如果这些方法控制不好,很容易自我毁灭,句子结构混乱,毫无头绪,读者无法理解。(莎士比亚)。
4.叙述性的转换
转换在序言中是不可缺少的。它通过上下文之间的联系和转换,起到使全文连贯一致的作用,使全文连贯一致的作用。(威廉莎士比亚、斯图尔特、STARTER)转换经常被用于场地转移、时间、活动转换、从概括的描述到具体的叙述。只有这样,作家才能把读者的想法赶上自己的思维方式。例如:
In my summer holidays,I did a lot of things . apart form doing my homework,reading an English novel,watching TV and doing some houses I wees
The next morning I got up early . I was very happy because it was a fine day . by The time I got to The beach,The clouds on The horizon were turning red . in
not shining. It rose slowly. At last it broke through the red clouds and jumped above the sea, just like a deep-red ball. At the same time the clouds and the sea water became red and bright.What a moving and unforgettable scene!
5.叙述与对话
引用故事情节中主要人物的对话是写人记事的记叙文中提高表现力的一种好方法。适当地用直接引语代替间接的主观叙述,可以客观生动地反映人物的性格,品质和心理状态,使文章内容更加充实、具体,使记叙生动,增色生辉。试比较下面两段叙述的效果:
1) I asked the boy where he lived and his father’s or mother’s name. He said he didn’t know. He only said his house was big and his mother had taken him there.
改为:
I asked the boy where he lived and his father’s or mother’s name. “ Don’t know” he said. “ My house is big. Mother took me here.”
2) I was in the kitchen, and I was cooking something. Suddenly I heard a loud noise from the front. I thought maybe someone was knocking the door. I asked who it was but I heard no reply. After a while I saw my cat running across the parlor. I realized it was the cat. I felt released.
这本来应是一段故事性很强的文字叙述,但经作者这么一写,就不那么吸引人了。原因是,文中用的都是叙述模式,没有人物语言,把“悬念”给冲淡了。可以作如下调整:
I was in the kitchen cooking something. “Crash!” a loud noise came from the front. Thinking someone was knocking at the door, I asked, “Who?” No reply. After a while, I saw my cat running across the parlor. “ It’s you.” I said, quite released.
二、写好记叙文的基本要领
1.头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程。然后再收集、选取素材。这些素材应该都是跟上述五个“W”和一个“H”有关的。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“W”和“H”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“W”和一个“H”进行构思是必不可少的。
2. 突出中心,详略得当
文章在的框架确定后,支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的一步。选材要注意取舍,应从能表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题材的重要情节,略写粗述那些非关键的次要情节。平均使用笔墨,面面俱到就会成为情节的罗列,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, “There is a family with eight children. They have not eaten for days.” I took some food with me and went.
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured(破坏外貌) by hunger. There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger.
I gave the rice to the mother. She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice. When she came back, I asked her, “Where did you go?” She gave me this simple answer, “To my neighbors—they are hungry also!”
这一小段故事的特点是叙述详略得当。作者对“来人告诉我的事”(起因)和“我准备食物”(次要情节)只是一句带过,而详写了“我在那家所见”(背景支撑)和“那位母亲送饭到邻家”(表现中心的主要情节),还特别插入了我们之间的对话,而且简要明了,画龙点睛。把一个坚强而又富有爱心的母亲刻画得栩栩如生,很有人物特色。
3.用活语言,准确生动
记叙文需要用鲜明的形象,具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事和物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要鲜明准确,还要生动传神。要使用表现力强的语言,这样才能把人、事说得绘声绘色,故事的可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例段修改前后的效果。
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away. He was soon lost among people and traffic. He could not find the way back home and started crying. Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying. They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened. Xiaoqiang told them how he had got lost and where he lived. The two students decided to take him home. Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound. She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn’t take it. She served them with tea but they left.
修改:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street. After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home. But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic. When he could not find the way home, he started and crying. Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him standing crying in front of a shop. They immediately went up to him.
“Little boy, why are you standing here crying?” they asked.
“I want Mom, I go home” said the boy, still crying.
“Don’t worry, we’ll send you home.”
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy’s house. With the help of a policeman, they finally succeeded.
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house. Gratefully, she gave them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea.
【写作示例】
一、写作任务
假定你是李华,要给美国的笔友Sally写封信,介绍你班同学竞选班长的过程。请按下图顺序描述。
注意:1. 信的开头已经为你写好;
2. 词数120左右。可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
3.提示词:竞选班长monitor election
Dear Sally,
How are thing going?
Last Monday, ________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Best wishes,
Li Hua
二、写作步骤
行文时可以遵循以下四步骤:
Step 1: 确定文章框架,包括时态、语态、格式、展开方式、开头结尾等。
Step 2: 确定内容要点,包括主要人物、时间地点、重要细节、合理发挥等。
Step 3: 正式开始写作,整理思路成篇。
Step 4: 检查作文中的错误。
第一步:审题。仔细阅读题目要求,可确定体裁为记叙文;人称用第一人称;时态以一般过去时为主。
第二步:构思。根据题目要求,确定本文的写作要点:
1. 时间:上周一下午
2. 地点:本班教室
3. 人物:班主任和本班全体同学
4. 事件发展的过程:班主任宣布相关事宜—竞选者发言—同学们投票—竞选结果—当选人表态
5. 结果:适当抒发自己的感想
第三步:写作。构思清楚要点后,拟一个写作提纲,防止遗漏要点;若时间许可,最好先打个草稿;书写时做到规范、整洁、美观、大方,给读者一种赏心悦目的感觉。
三、写作点评
【参考范文】
One possible version:
Dear Sally,
How are things going?
Last Monday, our class held a monitor election. This was our first election, so everyone was excited.
At about 5:30 in the afternoon after class, all my classmates were present at the class. After the head teacher announced the rules and the discipline, we sat silently in our seats. Then two of my classmates, Liu Dong and Wang Hong, stepped steadily to the front of the classroom and started their election race. They each gave a speech, telling us what they would do when they were elected successfully. Next, we each voted for “his” or “her” monitor. The result was 28 to 15 in Wang Hong’s favor. The whole class cheered for her “victory”. Then Wang Hong expressed her thanks for our trust and support to her and promised to do what she could for us all in the future.
Best wishes,
Li Hua
【点评】
本文结构安排合理、要点全面、思路清晰、语言简洁。两段式的总体安排首先总体交待了事情背景及参与人心情。然后把事情的过程进行了明了的说明,最后还交待了结果并由当选人的表态圆满地结束了对事情的叙述。同时,恰当使用了一些衔接词语(如so, then,next)和高级词汇(如announce, steadily, discipline,successfully, cheer for,in one’s favor,in the future)以及复杂结构(如telling us…等)。
高考写作指导—记叙文 (实践篇)
一、写作任务:
假定你在暑假期间与父母一起到北京旅游,参观了几处名胜,请以The Summer Holiday为题,用英语写一篇记叙文,叙述一下你们在北京游玩的情况。
注意:
1. 词数:120左右;
2. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
二、 写作指导
第一步:审题
1. 审文章体裁。根据所给出的要点信息来看,此处要求叙述“我”和我的父母亲到北京的旅游活动,属于记叙文。
2. 审结构。根据所给出的要点信息,可以分三段来写:第一段谈对北京的认识和初到北京的总体体会;第二段叙述旅游的详细情况;第三段可以适当拓展,表述自己此次旅游后的感受或打算。
3. 审人称、时态。由于是叙述“我”和父母亲的旅游情况,故以第一人称为主;要求叙述今年暑假发生的事情,所以用一般过去时(若使用直接引语,则视具体情况采用其它时态)。
4. 审内容。记叙文的基本要素:时间(今年暑假)、地点(北京)、人物(“我”和我的父母亲)、事件(到达北京以及在北京几处名胜游览)和结果(喜欢北京想到北京读大学)。
第二步:构思
列出写作提纲,确定写作要点及写作顺序:
1. In this summer holiday, I, together with my parents, visited Beijing.
2. On July 22nd, we arrived at Beijing West Railways Station.
3. We were struck when we left the railway station.
4. We visited a lot of places of interest and took many pictures.
5. We didn’t go boating or swimming because of the limited time.
6. We had a happy time. But we had to leave.
7. I love Beijing. I want to go back there as a university student.
然后,对照要点顺序开始行文,可适当扩展。行文中要运用恰当的连词,以使行文连贯。
三、学生习作
The Summer Holiday
In this summer holiday, my parents and I paid a visit ①Beijing—the heart of our country and the great capital of our motherland. We got to Beijing on July 22th②. As soon as we left Beijing West Railway Station, we were struck by the beautiful③ of the city. It’s really a wonderful place.
We really had a happy time during our stay in Beijing. We went to visit a lot of places of interest, such as ④ Great Wall, the Summer Palace, Tian An Men Square, the Palace Museum and so on. We take⑤ lot of pictures in order to preserve the beautiful images. However, I couldn’t spend any time to go⑥ boating and swimming on the Kunming Lake because of time limited.
One week flew by before we found ourselves on the way back home. I love Beijing. I’m determined to study harder and get a chance to go to a university in Beijing the ⑦ next year.
四、教师点评
1. 总体评价
本习作包含了记叙文的基本要素,要点全面,层次清晰,故事情节完整;运用了一些高级词汇(如:be struck by, preserve, time limited, determined等)和较为复杂的句子结构(…before…, spend time doing sth. 并列句,同位语 等);使用了恰当的连词,很好地完成了写作任务。
2. 错误更正
在①在visit 后加to 。pay visit to…意为“到……游览,探访……”。
②处的22th应为22nd。 ③处的beautiful应为beauty。 ④处后应加the。⑤处take应为took。⑥处to go应为going, spend time doing sth.意为“花时间做某事”。 ⑦处the去掉。
3. 优化表达
在②处后的句子As soon as we left Beijing West Railway Station, we were struck by the beauty of the city. 若为As we stepped out of Beijing West Railway Station, we….则更妥;⑦前的句子I‘m determined…若为I’m determined to go back there as a university student…则更地道。
4. 一句多译
(1)今年暑假,我和父母亲一起去北京玩了一趟。
In this summer holiday, I paid a visit to Beijing with my parents.
In this summer holiday, parents and I visited Beijing.
In this summer holiday, my parents and I went to Beijing for a tour.
(2)我们一出北京西客站就被北京的美丽所吸引住了。
As we stepped out of Beijing West Railway Station, we were struck by the beauty of the city.
The beauty of Beijing struck us deeply as soon as we went out from Beijing West Railway Station.
On coming out from Beijing West Railway station, we were attracted by the beauty of the city.
(3)我们在北京期间玩得很愉快。
We really had a happy time during our stay in Beijing.
When we stayed in Beijing, we enjoyed ourselves very much.
The time we spent in Beijing really gave us much pleasure.
(4)我们照了很多像来留下这些美丽的景色。
We took a lot of pictures in order to preserve the beautiful images.
To preserve these beautiful images we took a lot of pictures.
By taking pictures, we were able to preserve many of these beautiful images.
(5)一周时间一晃而过,不觉之间,我们踏上了回家的路程。
One week flew by before we found ourselves on the way back home.
The time for us to return home soon came, and one week had passed before we knew it.
One week time soon passed, and we didn’t know it until we found we had to go back home.
五、模仿练习
你与几名同学前不久参加了一次夏令营(summer camp),几名英籍营员的加入使得本次活动与以往不同。他们是来自伦敦以东、泰晤士河(the Thames)畔的Canvey镇的高中生。
请根据以上提示及下面表格中的内容写一篇短文,介绍有关此次夏令营的情况。
注意:
1.写作要用第一人称。
2.短文应包括全部要点。
3.词数120左右。
4. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
活动内容
收 获
中方营员
带英方营员游览故宫、颐和园、长城等景点,并介绍近些年北京的变化。
结识了新朋友,英语口语在实践中有了提高。
英方营员
游览之余向中方营员介绍英国学生的日常生活和学习情况,并在英语学习方面帮助中方营员。
认识到北京与他们原来所听说的大不一样,北京与他们所居住的城镇Canvey 一样美丽。
One possible version:
Several days ago, I took part in a special summer camp with my classmates. There we made some new friends. Foreign friends who were senior students from Canvey, a town on the Thames, which is to the east of London.
As hosts, we showed them round many places of interest in Beijing, such as the Palace Museum, the Great Wall and the Summer Palace. All the way, we told them about the changes taking place in Beijing these recent years. And they said Beijing was quite different from what they had heard of. It was as beautiful as Canvey.
Meanwhile, we improved our spoken English quite a lot with the help of them, though the whole activity was not so long a time.
I think the summer camp is of great value.
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