有人说爱是天时地利的迷信

昨天下午我去参加了张潇雨&学霸猫的线下见面会。想了解张潇雨的去荔枝FM搜索《得意忘形》，这是张老师在做的一个播客，张老师本人很低调，他播客的目标听众就是走小众化风格。推荐第10期和第26期，这两期是张潇雨和学霸猫一起录的，听完后也许你会爱上这个节目。学霸猫不用介绍了，在我的文章里出现好几次了1见了大神之后才知道自己格局有多小2醉眼看人间，人人都美丽3看日剧悟点人生道理

昨天的见面会十分精彩，精彩来自于思维不断碰撞迸发出的火花，谈传媒介质、教育的本质、爱、核心原则、道德经......给我带来的震撼和灵感写十篇不同主题的文章都写不完。我也深深领悟到人是社会性的动物，就应该经常跳出自己的人际圈，去大胆与不同的人交流，你会发现哇原来这个世界是这么精彩，哇原来这件事还可以这样想。每一次去参加这样的活动，认识一位新的朋友，发现别人身上的闪光点，我都会兴奋好几天，因为这让我感觉到自己很有生命力，我的价值观在不断地更新迭进，这是非常有意思的事情。

见面会之后我们一起去吃了火锅，期间谈论了很多话题，讨论最激烈的就是“性与爱”，热度如火锅。首先是怎样定义男女朋友关系，怎么样算是认定ta是你的另一半，张老师给出他自己的定义“是我愿意为她放弃与其他异性以朋友之上关系的机会”，也就是愿意为对方和其他异性划清暧昧的界限。这个定义，火锅桌边每个人都有自己的答案，你的答案是什么？

那么是男女朋友之后，又该如何相处呢？有一本书是关于林夕的，书名是《爱是天时地利的迷信》，解读为爱是在某个特殊的环境下两个特定的人在某个时刻四目相对燃起的火焰，爱它可以是即性的，非延续性的。

学霸猫说：“爱是我做了一桌子好菜，我自己吃得很开心，你坐下来陪我一起愉快地享用很好，但没有人我也照样精彩。”引出爱的前提是首先爱自己，爱自己爱到一定程度了，自然懂得怎样爱别人。如果自己都整天怨天尤人，活得像一朵枯萎的花儿，谁愿意来接近你？想起我高中地理老师说的一句话：“别人爱你首先是因为你可爱”。用文艺的方式表达就是“你若盛开，清风自来。”

喜欢到底是乍见之欢还是久处之厌？昨天和大家交流后我意识到相爱这件事情真的是需要好好学习的一门学问。在一段感情里，我们会容易因为对方在某个时段做的某一件事情就否定这个人。“你为什么一晚上没有回我微信?” “你和朋友圈那个女生到底是什么关系？” “你不怎么怎么做就是不爱我”。

唉......在列举的时候我意识到自己在以往的感情中事多么地无理取闹。在感情里会老是通过各种办法去确认对方到底爱不爱我，这种不安全感源自对爱的不自信也可以说是对自己的否定。我们应该学会去理解对方，允许对方是一个完整的人，有自己的七情六欲有自己的私人空间，给对方自己自由成长的机会。我想爱情的保鲜剂大概就是两个对生活充满好奇心的人，都在不断学习不断进步，能让对方不断发现自己身上新的闪光点，谁不喜欢探索新领域，开发新大陆呢？至于姻缘聚散，那是接下来要谈的话题。

前段时间学霸猫在微博上提了一个问题：“你是因为一个人好，所以喜欢他？还是因为喜欢他，才会觉得一个人好？”我的答案是因为一个人某个闪光点而喜欢上他，慢慢地因为喜欢他而爱屋及乌觉得他哪儿哪儿都好，但或者这只是因为喜欢他而给自己讲个“他就是完美无瑕的故事”，但故事不过是自己的幻觉。我们一起来看一下猫老师对这个问题的解答：

我最触动的一句话就是：“喜欢”这件事，缘起性空，生灭无常，但当珍惜。好像喜欢一瞬间的事情，或许是第一印象里面出现的那件白衬衫，亦或许是是舞台上那个翩翩起舞的身影，或者是那一低头的温柔。相见之欢，一见钟情，脑子里已经想好你们孩子的名字。喜欢一个人很容易，但要承认爱的流逝总是缺乏勇气的。好像大家潜意识里爱都是永垂不朽，爱是海枯石烂，爱是一往情深。但是若果真如此，世上那么多痴男怨女哪里来，为什么总是苦情的歌曲在流唱？勇敢承认喜欢这件事成为过去式，是难能可贵的，这是对于一段感情坦诚的表现，也是负责任的体现，如果不爱ta了，那就没办法给对方带来快乐了，再继续以“爱”的名义绑架双方继续只会是痛苦。

20岁出头就结婚的人，大多都没有想明白一个问题，What you want & What you need，你想要的就真的是你真正需要的吗？For example，你明明只是被一个人身上散发的荷尔蒙吸引到了想和XXOO而已，但却要自己讲一个喜欢他的故事，因为只有爱才能将性这件事情合理化。不能把性与爱分开是很多感情问题的源头，昨晚关于性与爱这个话题讨论了很多，真想都分享给大家啊，但是我怕写多了这篇文章活不过24小时。

每一个人都应该正视sex这件事，这是人作为动物本源性的欲望。但我们中西方的传统文化都告诉我们不能谈这件事情，sex的标签是羞耻是肮脏。正视这件事不是猥琐地讲荤段子，也不意味着滥交，而是理性坦诚地交谈。了解了之后不代表你就要这样做去，而是更明白地去选择。选择A和你知道这个世界上有B的存在仍然选A是不一样的。

怎么了解呢？不是嘿嘿地藏在被窝里看岛国片。看书看正剧看纪录片，书推荐《亲密关系》《爱的艺术》《宇宙之爱》，电视剧推荐《欲望都市》《性爱大师》，我暂时只能想到这些，或许你们有更好的推荐请告诉我。每个人都应该发现自己身上独特的魅力，并引以为傲，特别是可爱的女孩子们。All womem are cats, some are kittens,while some are cougars.

关于“爱”这个话题，我以后还会再写，但肯定是做了更多关于爱的功课之后再得出的新感悟。过了这段忙碌期，会把这次见面会更多的心得体会整理出来。打开电脑之前我本来打算只写半个小时的，毕竟我还是要复习考研的人，现在2个小时过去了，我一点都不慌（才怪），下面是routine，考研英文阅读精读，今天是2011年Text 3

2011 Text 3

31. Consumers may create “earned” media when they are

32. According to Paragraph 2，sold mediafeature

33. The author indicates in Paragraph 3 thatearned media

34.Toyota Motor‘s experienceis cited as an example of

35. Which of the following is the text mainly about ？

I①The rough guide to marketing success used to be that you got what you paid for. ②No longer. ③While traditional “paid” media such as television commercials and print advertisements still play a major role， companies today can exploit many alternative forms of media.④Consumers passionate about a product may create “owned” media by sending e-mail alerts about products and sales to customers registered with its Web site. ⑤The way consumers now approach the broad range of factors beyondconventional paid media.

exploit verb USEWELL有效地用

ADVANCED

■to use something for advantage 利用；开发；发挥

•We need to make sure that we exploito ur resourcesas fully as possible.我们要确保尽可能充分利用资源。

alternative noun（尤指不同于平常事物的）可供选择的事物；可供选择的解决办法

•an alternativetocoffee咖啡代用品

•There must be an alternativeto people sleeping on the streets.一定要想办法解决街头露宿者的问题。

这些名词均含有“选择”之意。

choice→ 侧重指自由选择的权利或特权。

alternative→ 指在相互排斥的两者之间作严格的选择，也可指在两者以上中进行选择。

preference→ 侧重因偏见、爱好或判断等而进行选择。

option→ 着重特别给予的选择权利或权力，所选物常常相互排斥。

selection→ 指作广泛的选择，着重选择者的识别力或鉴赏力。

election→ 强调目的和达到目的判断能力。

II①Paid and owned media are controlled by marketers promoting their own products.② For earned media ， such marketers act as the initiator for users‘ responses. ③But in some cases， one marketer’s owned media become another marketer‘s paid media for instance， when an e-commerce retailer sells ad space on its Web site. ④We define such sold media as owned media whose traffic is so strong that other organizations place their content or e-commerce engines within that environment. ⑤This trend ，which we believe is still in its infancy， effectively began with retailers and travel providers such as airlines and hotels and will no doubt go further. ⑥Johnson& Johnson， for example， hascreated BabyCenter， a stand-alone media property that promotescomplementary and even competitive products. ⑦Besides generating income， the presence of other marketers makes the site seem objective， gives companies opportunities to learn valuable information about the appeal of otherc ompanies’ marketing， and may help expand user traffic for all companies concerned.

initiator ◙ noun• 发起人；创始人

infancy noun 婴儿期，幼年

•Her youngest child died ininfancy.她最小的孩子在幼年时夭折了。

be in its infancy在初期，在早期

•The system is still in its infancy.这个体系尚处于初期发展阶段。

complementary adjective 补充的；互补的；补足的

•complementary colours/flavours/skills互补色／风味／技能

•My family and my job both play an importantpart in my life, fulfilling separate but complementaryneeds.家庭和工作都是我生活中重要的组成部分，两者互为补充，满足我不同的需要。

III①The same dramatic technological changes that have provided marketers with more （and more diverse） communications choices have also increased the risk that passionate consumers will voice their opinions in quicker， more visible， and much more damaging ways.② Suchhijacked media are the opposite of earned media： an asset orcampaign become shostage to consumers， other stakeholders， or activists who make negative allegationsabout a brand or product. ③Members of social networks， for instance， are learning that they can hijack media to apply pressure on the businesses that originally created them.

hijack 把持，控制，使用（本不属于自己的东西）

•He resents the way his ideas have been hijacked by others in the department.他对部门里其他人剽窃他的想法这件事十分不满。

campaign noun countable（尤指政治、商业或军事的）运动

•The protests were part of their campaign againstthe proposed building development in the area.抗议是他们反对拟在该地区进行房地产开发的运动的一部分。

IV①If that happens， passionate consumers would try to persuade others to boycott products， putting the reputation ofthe target company at risk. ②Insuch a case， the company‘s response may not be sufficiently quick or thoughtful， and the learning curve has been steep. ③Toyota Motor， for example， alleviatedsome of the damage from its recall crisis earlier this year with arelatively quick and well-orchestrated social-media response campaign， which included efforts to engage with consumers directly on sitessuch as Twitter and the social-news site Digg.

boycott verb 拒绝购买（或参加）；抵制，杯葛

•People were urged to boycott the country's products.人们被鼓动起来杯葛那个国家的产品。

alleviate verb 减轻；缓和，缓解

•The drugs did nothing to alleviate her pain/suffering.这些药物对减轻她的病痛／痛苦没有丝毫作用。

31. Consumers may create “earned” media when they are

[A] obsessed with online shopping atcertain Web sites.

[B] inspired by product-promoting e-mailssent to them.

[C] eager to help their friends promotequality products.

[D] enthusiastic about recommending their favorite products.

32. According to Paragraph 2，sold media feature

[A] a safe business environment.

[B] random competition.

[C] strong user traffic.

[D] flexibility in organization.

定位：④We define such sold media as owned media whose traffic is so strong that otherorganizations place their content or e-commerce engines within that environment.

33. The author indicates in Paragraph 3that earned media

[A] invite constant conflicts with passionate consumers.

[B] can be used to produce negative effects in marketing.

[C] may be responsible for fiercer competition.

[D] deserve all the negative comments aboutthem.

定位：② Suchhijacked media are the opposite of earned media： an asset orcampaign become shostage to consumers， other stakeholders， or activists who make negative allegationsabout a brand or product. ③Members of social networks， for instance， are learning that they can hijack media to apply pressure on thebusinesses that originally created them.

34. Toyota Motor‘s experience is cited asan example of

[A] responding effectively to hijacked media.

[B] persuading customers into boycotting products.

[C] cooperating with supportive consumers.

[D] taking advantage of hijacked media.

定位：In such a case， the company‘s response may not be sufficiently quick or thoughtful， and the learning curve has been steep.

35. Which of the following is the text mainly about ？

[A] Alternatives to conventional paid media.

[B] Conflict between hijacked and earned media.

[C] Dominance of hijacked media.

[D] Popularity of owned media.