PEP小学英语六年级上册各单元写作例子及评论。
李英' 197492 hobby
Li ying likes English very much . she works hard at it . she reads English every morning . she likes speaking English . she often listeng
Does she like dancing?No,she doesn ' t . but she likes drawing and singing . her parents love her。and all the teachers and her friends like her,too
[要领评论]
这个写作爱好的文章,小作家的写作想法,值得我们学习。他没有具体写刘英的什么爱好,而是从学习到放学后的各种爱好开始,粗暴地描绘了刘英的各种爱好。从“爱好”的角度看刘英,我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。
孩子们写这种“叙事写作3763”作文时,可以从两个角度开始。一个是具体描述。第二,像上面的孩子们一样,用粗线画出来,各有优点,在另一篇文章中使用几个问题,使用几个战术可以使作文更加生动,避免平直说的缺点。(威廉莎士比亚,《哈姆雷特》,一书)就像上面的“Does she like dancing”一样?No,she doesn 't . "和《she says her hobbies make her happy》是非常好的句子,让读者眼前一亮。
Don't be against the traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday . I go to school by bike at 7336030 in the morning . I must cross two busy roads . if the traffic light is RES
If the light turns green,I know it means“go”,and then I walk across the road . I always ride on the right side of the road . I am neen
[要领评论]
这篇作文的题目是“不要违反交通规则”。小作家不说空话,从自己的经验来看,自己用什么方式上学,上学的路上怎么办,很形象。
孩子们写作文时注意不要画大图。那样会使文章看起来空洞,要写自己周围熟悉的事情。要注意文章中的字大小写、文章中的标点符号等。
I Love My Family
here is a photo lf my family . these are four people in my family . they are my father、my mother和my brother and i .
my father is a doctor . he works in a hospital far away . he goes To work by subway . my mother is a teacher . she works in a school near my home To work by bike . affhe is my brother . he is five years older than me . he is a singer . he ' 197492 now in Beijing . he goes there by plane。
I love my family。
[要领评论]
平凡的题材,生动的作文。这种命题我们可以面对几次,甚至几十次。但是这个小朋友的笔法很聪明,说几句话让幸福的家庭跃上纸上,这是值得我们思考的。我们能做到吗?(莎士比亚)。
孩子们的这篇作文不仅语言优美,结构上也有闪光点。首先逐一介绍自己家的3763,然后让他详细说明家人的工作、上班方式、爱好。(威廉莎士比亚、哈姆雷特、家人)最后用一句话概括,起到点缀问题的作用。我们写类似作文的时候不也可以参考吗?
How to get to the science museum
we are going to the science museum tomor row . there is an old thing show in the museum . do you know how we can get to the science museum?
The science muse
um is next to the People’s Park. It’s isn’t far from our school. So we can go there on foot .Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights. You can find the People’s Park on the right . Walk straight, and you’ll see the science museum.【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“怎样去科学博物馆”。怎样才算是一篇好作文呢?通过你的叙述,能让别人很容易找到博物馆,这应是最基本的要求。小作者在文中告诉我们什么呢?首先他写了去博物馆的位置,最后浓墨重彩,指明从学校去博物馆的具体路线,这条路线够清晰吧!
小朋友们在写这类作文的时候,总有些无从下手的感觉,不知从何说起。其实介绍路线,无非就是告诉他人某段路的起点和终点,还有就是如何从起点走到终点。要给他人说清楚,你自己首先得清楚,然后再通过自己的叙述,将路线清清楚楚得呈现出来。一定要注意行文中一些关键的地方,如在哪儿转弯,向哪儿转,经过哪些重要的交通标志或显眼的标志建筑等。这样,你就能说清,别人也能弄明白。
Planting Trees
It’s spring. It’s time to plant trees.
I want to plant a tree in our garden. Dad and Mum are very happy. They like green. Dad helps me plant the tree. First, we dig the soil. Then I put a little tree into the soil. Next I water it. I am so excited and I wait for the tree to grow. Two weeks later, my tree has some little leaves. I water it every day. Now it has lots of leaves. It grows fast.
We should plant more trees. They make our world beautiful.
【要领点评】
小作者写了一次植树的经历,但他并没有单纯拘泥于植树的过程。既有过程,也有感觉,能使文章打动读者,给人以启发。作文的最后一段就非常好,两句话胜似千言万语。我们可以学习一下这种写法。
既描述过程,又适时提自己的看法或想法的写法,在作文中叫做“夹叙夹议”,描述过程为了提出一种思想服务,提出看法或想法使原本平实的描述有了意义。我们在以后的写作中也可以试一试。
Let’s have a nice day
It’s Sunday tomorrow .I’m going to the bookstore with my friends tomorrow morning .We are going to look for some good books .We all like reading books .We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant. I like chicken, beef and vegetables .After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus. We are going to play near the Kunming Lake. Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake .Wow, that will be relaxing. We are coming back at 5pm.
【要领点评】
怎样才称得上是“美好的一天”?有两点不能忘记,一是安排得充实,二是安排得有意义。这两点小作者无疑都想到了,上午去书店看书买书,中午在饭店吃饭,下午去颐和园玩耍、划船,丰富多彩!文章以时间为线索,叙述清楚,文笔也很优美。
小朋友们在写这种叙事的文章时,要尽量给读者交代好时间、地点、人物和活动等,使文章有血有肉。要看好是写过去发生的事情,还是现在正在做的事情,或计划、打算要做的事情,以选择适当的句型。如果是写将来的事情,那么就要注意在表述时多用“be going to+动词原形”这种句型。还有一点也很重要,那就是故事的线索要交代好,让读者在阅读时对整个过程一目了然。
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